Today, August 1, is International Childfree Day, one of my favorite marked days of the year. Today I celebrate my early decision to never have children—one of the greatest decisions of my life—among my surest, bestest, zero-regret life choices. I feel like I dodged a bullet!
I like kids as people, but on the rare occasion I’ve tried to imagine life with my own kids, it has felt like a horror movie that might leave me screaming and panting. Ok, I exaggerate, but only a little. 😊 Perhaps I simply had a weak instinct for fatherhood. I can’t remember ever wanting it; it seemed like a bad deal. Were I religious, I’d thank god every day for saving me from a life of far more angst, suffering, and prayers—and, I reckon, not enough compensatory joy. I’m thankful for life’s countless miracles of non-birth and its precious unbundled love. 😀 And I’m lucky to have an amazing life partner whose beliefs and values align with mine—a rare gift, without which the trials of parenthood, too, are far worse.
To younger folk in two minds about having children, especially in the nauseatingly baby-obsessed culture of India, I assure you that going childfree can be a perfectly wonderful, fulfilling and wholesome way of life. Don’t let social pressure—led by unimaginative family and friends lost in the quicksand of conformity—risk ruining your life. Don’t make babies because you’re expected to, or out of boredom, or to mask marital problems. Don’t live someone else’s dream for you. Unlike many other decisions, entering parenthood is non-reversible and could well be your one-way ticket to far more misery than joy—witness the legions of parents mired in toxic spousal relationships, shrunken horizons and mindless drudgery. But if it’s then fair to say that parenthood is not right for everyone, the flip side holds too: being childfree is not for everyone either. So think hard, very hard!
For some thoughtful writing on this topic, check out Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Another book to check out is Childfree by Choice by Amy Blackstone.
Meanwhile, three cheers! Happy International Childfree Day from Namit and Usha! ☺️🌿
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