Like the protagonist of Machado de Asis’s novel, Epitaph of a Small Winner, I consider myself a small winner for having overcome my blind urge to procreate. Not long ago, an Indian auntie, displeased with my choice, called me selfish to my face—I was too devoted to living for myself, she said, echoing a common view of people who choose like me. I pointed out politely that modern couples who produce children seem to me more selfish in that case. They certainly do no favors to the unborn—or to anyone else in this crowded world—by engendering for their own gratification those who have no say in the matter. She persisted: But what about the emotional well-being that children provide?
A recent article in Newsweek brought me some delight. Next time this pesky auntie needles me about the deprivations of my “childless” state (there is nothing “less” about it, I tell her; call me “childfree”), I’ll be sure to point her to this study:
The most recent comprehensive study on the emotional state of those with kids shows us that the term “bundle of joy” may not be the most accurate way to describe our offspring. “Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers,” says Florida State University’s Robin Simon, a sociology professor who’s conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. “In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It’s such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they’re not.”
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